Recognising When You Need to Take Action and When to Let It Go

Do you feel that might snap?  That you might explode in anger or implode and simply go into shut-down as you can’t cope?  If you do, you are not alone.  There are several recognised triggers for these feelings and if one or more of these buttons are pressed, then it can make us feel as if we are spiralling out of control.  The triggers are:

L - Life or Limb i.e. is our survival threatened?

I - Insult – has someone offended us?

F - Family Aggression – have we got issues going on in our family?

E - Environment – what is happening around us?  Is our territory being invaded?

M - Mate – is there trouble with our relationship?

O - Organisation – has the order of things/rules by which we live by been disrupted?

R - Resources or Lack of them – do we have the money, support to do what we need to?

T - Tribe – has our “us or them” button been pressed?

S - Stop – Do we feel trapped, restrained or cornered?

As soon as you feel angry or completely overwhelmed ask yourself if it is one of these LIFEMORTS situations. If it is, identify if you do really need to act i.e. is this a serious situation which requires immediate, powerful action?  If it is, act now.  However, all too often it is something more like a driver has cut us up on the road. Some of the triggers are pressed in this scenario:

Environment - our territory around us has been invaded

Organisation – someone has violated the rules of the road

Stop – we feel hemmed in by this other car

However, it is not a life and death situation and we can actually take a step back.  We don’t need to become aggressive or quietly stressed and anxious about it. These triggers are very sensitive to stress and the more stressed we are, the more likely we are to react to them.

Hypnotherapy can help you identify your own triggers, put these things into context and find the balance again so that you are more calm and deal with things in a confident and positive way.

Are You Suffering from Burnout?

Burnout is on the increase.  It can make you chronically exhausted, cynical and ineffective at what you are doing.  It stops you pursuing a healthy, happy and productive work life, but can also affect your home life, too.

As employers are expecting more and more of people in the taut economic climate, the pressure on employees is building up and causing high levels of stress and unhappiness.  This leads to a toxic workplace environment with back-biting, gossiping and poor communication between work colleagues.

Although some of this might be out of your control, there are some things that you do to help you feel more positive, motivated and productive again i.e. take control of what you can take control of.

These positive steps include:

• focusing more of your time on tasks that are fulfilling and give a greater sense of reward
• improving the quality of workplace relationships by showing trust, respect, sharing information and encouraging others to do these things too
• improving your self-management skills by better prioritisation and goal setting
• being positive in your attitude as this helps you feel better and increases positive feelings in others which leads to a more pleasant and productive working environment

If you feel you might be suffering from burnout and are feeling tired, bitter and fed up, then hypnotherapy can help refocus you to get back your motivation, feel more energised and get the most out of the time you spend at work.  It may even lead to a realisation that it is time to go for that promotion or even move on to a new job.

Seeing is Believing - the Power of Visualisation

You can achieve a huge amount just by changing the way you think and using the power of visualisation. For example, can improve your golf swing, work out your muscles, prepare to achieve a particular goal or improve practically any skill.

This article that appeared in Psychology Today, describes what can be achieved by these powerful visualisation techniques.

“Mental practice can get you closer to where you want to be in life, and it can prepare you for success! For instance, Natan Sharansky, a computer specialist who spent 9 years in prison in the USSR after being accused of spying for US has a lot of experience with mental practices. While in solitary confinement, he played himself in mental chess, saying: “I might as well use the opportunity to become the world champion!” Remarkably, in 1996, Sharansky beat world champion chess player Garry Kasparov!

A study looking at brain  patterns in weightlifters found that the patterns activated when a weightlifter lifted hundreds of pounds were similarly activated when they only imagined lifting.  In some cases, research has revealed that mental practices are almost effective as true physical practice, and that doing both is more effective than either alone. For instance, in his study on everyday people, Guang Yue, an exercise psychologist from Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Ohio, compared “people who went to the gym with people who carried out virtual workouts in their heads”. He found that a 30% muscle increase in the group who went to the gym. However, the group of participants who conducted mental exercises of the weight training increased muscle strength by almost half as much (13.5%). This average remained for 3 months following the mental training.”

Hypnotherapy is a fantastic way to focus on what you want to achieve and increase the power of visualisation. The subconscious is heightened in hypnosis and is in a state of increased alertness.  This multiplies the power of the deeper parts of your mind, helping you take some powerful steps towards your goals, whatever they may be.

Alcohol and the Festive Spirit

It has been 10 years since the government changed drinking laws in England and Wales to allow pubs to serve alcohol 24 hours a day.

The move was met with a good deal of controversy.  There were suggestions that it would lead to round the clock drinking, increase alcohol consumption and put more pressure on the police due to violence. 

Supporters said it would reduce alcohol related crime as drinking would be more spread out over the evening and night time and that it would encourage a “continental café culture”.
So, have any of these things happened?  Well, our drinking habits have changed but these seem to be in line with trends which started before the change to licensing laws.

Binge drinking has decreased and violent crime has decreased. However, these were falling before the 24 hour law and have continued to fall in the same pattern as previous decades.  However, alcohol related crime is still high and 53% of police time is spent on drink related crime. According to the government the cost of alcohol misuse is estimated to be around £21 bn a year.

More people in the UK are teetotal than ever before with 21% of adults not drinking at all.  Young people have really made a difference here and there was a 40% rise in teetotal young adults from 2005 to 2013.  However, linking any of these changes to the Licensing Act is difficult. Overall it doesn't seem as if there have been any measurable negative or positive results.

And as for a “continental café culture”, you really just have to consider British weather!
If you want help and support to cut down the amount of alcohol you drink or stop altogether, then just give me a ring or an email.  I see lots of people who would like to get some help with their drinking patterns and I work on getting something that  is the best fit for you.

Have a lovely Christmas!

World Diabetes Day - Weight and Exercise

World Diabetes Day is on 14th November.  According to Diabetes UK, the number of people with this condition has increased by 60% over the last 10 years.  90% of that increase in due to an escalation of Type 2 diabetes which is the sort that is linked to inactivity and being overweight.

Surprisingly, you can really make a difference in lowering your risk. A study by the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases showed that walking for 30 minutes, five days a week, lowering your fat and sugar intake and increasing your fruit and vegetables reduced participants' risk of developing Type 2 diabetes by an amazing 58%!

Hypnotherapy can help you change your eating patterns and boost your motivation to increase your activity levels. I work in helping you set realistic goals and keep moving steadily towards them whatever your current level of fitness or eating habits.

There are a few weeks to go before Christmas - maybe its time to direct some of your energy back onto yourself so that you look, feel and really are fitter and healthier.

Stoptober

Welcome to Stoptober!  If you have been thinking about quitting then maybe now is the time to take the next step and take action.

Everyone knows the health risks associated with smoking, but have you stopped to think of the many benefits?

For you

• You will save money - the average smoker has 13 cigarettes a day, which works out as 364 cigarettes a month. That's £141 a month and £1,696 a year that you could be saving by not smoking. If you smoke 20 a day that saving becomes £2,820 a year.
• Your sense of taste will return and you will enjoy the taste of food more.
• Your breathing and general fitness will improve.
• The appearance of your skin and teeth will improve.
• You'll be more confident in social situations because you won't smell of stale smoke any more.
• Your fertility levels will improve, along with your chances of having a healthy pregnancy and baby.

There are also benefits for your family and friends

• You will protect the health of those around you by not exposing them to second-hand smoke, however careful you think you are being.
• You will reduce the chances of your children suffering from bronchitis, pneumonia, asthma attacks, meningitis and ear infections. 300,000 children a year see their GP in the UK each year because of the effects of second-hand smoke.

Quit Now!

Last year over a quarter of a million people quit smoking in Stoptober, so you won’t be alone!
If you are ready to break the habit, hypnotherapy is a fast, effective tool that helps by providing a pleasant and relaxing experience that enables changes to be made quickly and completely.

I am a Certified Smoking Cessation Specialist (Cert SCS), combining my hypnotherapy experience with specialist skills specifically designed to maximise the effectiveness of the session.

If you would like more information or would like an appointment just use the Contact Me tab on the Homepage.

Is Autumn a Time to Follow Your Dreams?

Once the children go back to school is seems that there is a little freshness in the air on those early mornings and a hint of Autumn around us.

When I think of Autumn I imagine beautiful colours - orange, yellow, crimson and crunching leaves on a Sunday afternoon walk.  I try not to think of the endless drizzle and whipping gales that anyone who has attempted to walk Blackpool Illuminations is surely familiar with!

This is the season of preparation.  Plants stop growing to conserve energy for the Spring, the harvest is gathered in to give food for the colder winter months and the squirrel in our garden is gathering and burying horse-chestnuts to ensure enough food for the coming winter.

This preparation can extend to all of us as we get ourselves in a place of feeling positive, energetic and resourceful when we think of the next few months of our lives.  Although people often see the 1st of January as a time to make new resolutions and begin changes in their lives, we are often just so exhausted from Christmas and worn down by the drizzle,the gales and the dark days and nights that we are not ready to really give 100% to those good intentions.   Perhaps Autumn is the time to refocus and consider what is important in your life and think about what changes can be made to make life even better.

I am in a book club and have just read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.  Here is a quote from the book where the boy's heart speaks to him:

"Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him," his heart said. "We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasures because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children.  Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow that path laid out for them - the path to their destinies and to happiness."

Really, at its most fundamental level, this is just about following your dream; not getting lost in day to life, and trying to be the best and happiest you can.

Hypnotherapy can give you the time and space to reflect on what you really want and then help you to increase your focus, your motivation, and your confidence to fulfil these goals.

Healthy Eating - Sugar and Fat

There has been a lot of talk recently about the affects of sugar in our diet.  This seems to be the new focus when it comes to keeping fit and healthy.

According the the recent BBC TV programme The Truth About Sugar, we are all consuming much too much processed sugar which is having an affect on our immune system, our teeth, our weight and our overall health.  The BBC articles states:

"The instant 'lift' we get from sugar is one of the reasons we turn to it at times of celebration or when we crave comfort and reward. However, even those of us without a sweet tooth may be eating more than we realise because so many everyday, processed foods, from cereals and bread to pasta sauce and soups contain sugar.

But it's not all bad news - sugar is a carbohydrate found naturally in a host of different foods from lactose in milk to the fructose in fruit and honey. In fact, we need some sugar in our diets to supply ready energy to fuel our muscles and keep our brains active. The problem is that many processed foods have added sugar which supplies energy in the form of calories - and very little else. This means our body has to draw on the nutrients from the rest of our diet to process it and this can affect our health, including our immunity - leaving us more prone to bugs and colds. A high intake of sugar causes our blood sugar levels to shoot up, giving us that feel-good 'high' followed by a crashing slump which leaves us tired, irritable and craving more sugary foods. It's a vicious cycle that may be contributing to our weight problems as well as health concerns like diabetes and heart disease.

What's my daily allowance?

There are two types of sugar - naturally occurring sugar like lactose in milk and added sugar, which includes table sugar (sucrose) as well as concentrated sources like fruit juice.

The new recommendations from the World Health Organisation (WHO) are that only 5% of your daily calorie intake should consist of added, or 'free' sugars. This equates to approximately five-six teaspoons (25g) for women and seven-eight teaspoons (35g) for men."

Beware too, of "diet" foods and artificial sweeteners. Diet foods tend to be high in sugars to give them more flavour and sweeteners trick our bodies into thinking they are getting sugar, resulting in a surge of insulin and also more sugar cravings as that is what our body and brain was expecting.

How Can Hypnotherapy Help?

Hypnotherapy helps by changing your eating patterns - saying goodbye to the old ways and installing new, healthy eating patterns instead.  These new patterns then become the new normal for you and your body can get back in balance again, helping you gain control over your weight and your overall health as well.

It's Nearly Holiday Time Again!

It’s coming round to holiday time again – turquoise seas, white sand, beautiful scenery and, for many people, a whole lot of stress.

According to Dr. Dwight Damon, president of the National Guild of Hypnotists, “we are seeing a sharp increase in demand for hypnotists who can assist today’s airline passengers manage their stress of flying. The anticipated stress of flying is causing many people to avoid flying altogether or to delay their travel plans until absolutely necessary but for the business flyer especially, travel is unavoidable.”

Dr. Damon cited several potential stress creators that can put a traveller over the edge.

“The check-in process, going through the security checkpoints, dealing with extra fees for luggage, and simply being among other stressed out travellers whose behaviour impacts everyone-all contribute to a potential disaster if the traveller isn’t ready to manage his or her stress,” Dr. Damon said.

“In spite of the added measures today, the air traveller still has many aspects of their experience still within their control,” said Dr. Damon. “It starts with picturing a positive experience, and with having personal strategies for dealing with the myriad issues that are bound to arise during the travel experience. How you decide to react to a situation that arises will heighten or lessen your personal stress, and the stress of those around you.”

There are several things you can do to make the whole experience much more pleasant and relaxing. First of all, travellers should make a conscious decision to do everything they can to make the flight a positive experience.  This includes being organised, having all your documents to hand, leaving enough time to get to the airport etc.

Getting your mind into a calm and positive state both before and during the flight will also help you to feel more positive before you fly and more relaxed during the flight so that you arrive at your destination in the best frame of mind, ready to really enjoy your holiday.

Hypnotherapy works with your subconscious mind, giving you strategies to reduce your stress and associate flying with being calm and positive.  Hypnotherapy is effective whether your trigger points are the worry about safety, the possibility of turbulence or just being on a plane for a period of time.

So, live life to the full this year.  Enjoy the thought of going on holiday and instead of worrying about how anxious you might feel, think of how much fun you might have instead!

Is ITV's New Game Show "Back in the Room" Really That Bad?

The concept of a TV show that involves members of the public being laughed at in public has existed in some form or other for decades. So what about the new game show "Back in the Room"?  Is it harmless, fun entertainment? Is it quick and cheap TV? Will it damage the hypnotherapy profession that has worked hard to legitimise itself and leave the parlour trick stage hypnosis image in the past?

Well there has certainly been strong feeling amongst both hypnotherapists and also the public who have watched this show. Hypnotherapists have been outraged, claiming that it is a misrepresentation of what hypnosis is and that it is potentially damaging to the profession.  Quotes include:

"I call upon all my fellow professionals to take to social media to voice your disquiet about this extremely tasteless and damaging form of entertainment."

"this type of TV show sets us back. It misinforms. It portrays hypnosis incorrectly."

And what do the viewers think? Well, certainly the feedback from the viewers seems to show it is not as entertaining as they had hoped.  Some of the comments on Twitter have been:

"British TV couldn't get any worse"

"#BackInTheRoom Scraping the bottom of the game-show barrel. Disastrous TV."

"Back in the room... Is this meant to be on the tv!!??? It's like an outdated 1980's game show awful!!! Why would Philip schofield do this?"

Of course, there are some positive comments too, although they are just not as much fun to quote!

In reality there are two types of hypnosis - stage hypnosis and clinical hypnotherapy.  Rarely would you ever see a hypnotist practicing both.  You are pretty much in one camp or another and the reason for this is that the outcomes, the end results are quite different.  Stage hypnosis is for entertainment and designed to make people laugh.  Clinical hypnotherapy is for helping everyday people with genuine issues that they want to change for the better.

You would be forgiven if, knowing nothing of singing, you settled down on your sofa to watch X-Factor and, 90% of the way through, thought to yourself "well, it's pretty entertaining watching people who clearly believe they have a talent actually hopelessly failing to prove anything other than they are willing to put themselves through that." It would be understandable if you decided that singing wasn't for you and this is something you could happily live without.  But then, right at the end, just as you are about to switch off, the most marvellous amazing voice resonates from your TV. Wow, that is something completely different - suddenly you understand why people love singing so much.

If you were to take two groups of people, one who have an evening of televised stage hypnosis and one who have an evening of clinical hypnotherapy their description of the experience would probably be something like this:

Stage hypnosis - "I had my 15 minutes of fame and all my friends finally got to see me on TV.  I thought the clay smelled of dog poo and it felt good to get everyone laughing!"

"I acted like I was in love with the presenter on stage and had a real schoolgirl crush!  I loved being the centre of attention for few minutes, meeting famous people, having my make up done etc. The whole experience was really fun.

Clinical Hypnotherapy - "I felt relaxed and peaceful.  I couldn't believe how quickly the time passed and how good I felt afterwards.  I performed really well in my interview, for the first time ever, and I finally got that promotion!"

"The whole experience was both calming and energising.  I felt like I was really in the zone and could achieve anything I set my mind to.  I got on that plane for the first time in 20 years and  arrived in the USA for the birth of my amazing grandson!  The world has opened up to me again."

Each scenario is quite different but is important and valid in its own way. Members of the public don't need to be told what to believe or not believe, what is for entertainment and what stirs a deeper, emotional response.  I help people unlock their potential for change using hypnotherapy.  This means both believing that people know what they need at any particular time in their lives and also dedicating myself to helping people make these powerful life-changes.

7 Steps to Making Changes in Your Life

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."  Aristotle

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” - Mark Twain

So, take it steadily and slowly and soon you will be habitually excellent! 

Here are 7 steps to help you make changes in your life.

1. Have a clear, achievable goal
2. Start small - make sure you don't set unrealistic expectations
3. Make a plan - what steps do you need to take to make these changes
4. Consider any obstacles that might stand in your way and how you can overcome them
5. Use the skills and abilities you have built up over your lifetime to help you make the changes
6. Imagine what it will be like when you reach your goal
7. If you stray off the path, get right back on - keep going, persistence pays off

Hypnotherapy can work remarkably quickly and can help you make these changes in less time than you think.  It works on your subconscious mind and once that part of your brain is on-board with suggestions, then the positive changes become apparent in the way you think, the way you feel and the way you behave.

Happy New Year - bring on the resolutions!

Many of us welcome this time of year as an opportunity to make changes in our lives - loose weight, exercise more, eat less chocolate etc.  We get frustrated with our old selves and use the new year to make a new start.  We begin with our new year resolution enthusiastically on 1st January "I know I will do it this year", but by the beginning of February our good intentions have waned and we have often fallen back into our old ways.

The very word "resolution" has connotations of make or break - "will I have the resolve to do this?".  It is often better to reframe the process to "goals". A goal is something that anyone can work towards and implies and ongoing process and constant movement forward.

Hypnosis can help you clarify your goals and break them down into achievable steps.  It also increases your motivation and confidence in yourself to really make these changes.  Importantly it inspires you to keep going, even if sometimes you stray a bit (and you might!) so that you always have the bigger picture in mind and know in your conscious mind and your subconscious mind that you can achieve it.

Often you will find that once you start to moving towards your goal, it inspires you to make improvements in other areas of your life too. 

Imagine how positive you will feel this time next year when you look back and feel proud that those "resolutions" you made turned into goals that you have achieved.

Supervision Training

I have just returned from a very interesting weekend in London - the weekend was the first part of a course where I would learn the skills to become a supervisor and mentor for other hypnotherapists. 

The course itself consisted of the theory of the supervision process as well as lots of opportunities to practice our newly learned skills on one another.  In my busy personal practice and the running of my hypnotherapy school, I realised that I didn't really take much time to create some space for either personal or professional reflection. 

Over the weekend I came to appreciate how supervision and mentoring is mutually beneficial helping therapists to explore new ideas, meet new challenges and stimulate creativity.  The safe, supportive environment of supervision promotes personal well-being, positivity and professional development and improvement.

So far, so good - now I just need to make a start on the 15,000 word portfolio that I need to write...!

STOPTOBER - it's not too late

Stopping smoking has been in the news recently following the NHS Stoptober campaign. October is not over yet, and there is still time to make this healthy change in your life!

Almost a quarter of the population smoke and at any one time around 68% want to quit.  There are many ways to stop smoking - nicotine replacement, e-cigarettes, medication, will-power and hypnotherapy.  Many people just use one of these but hypnotherapy can be successfully used either on its own or in addition to any of these to provide additional support.

In hypnotherapy we don't just increase your will-power and your resolution, we address every possibly obstacle that may stand in your way of success.  This makes it much more likely you will succeed.

Here is some feedback from some of my clients over the past few weeks:

"Since I saw you I have not smoked. Furthermore, it has been relatively easy so far. If giving up would normally be a ten for difficulty, I would say this has been no more than a three and at no point have I been close to having a smoke."

"Thank you seems inadequate (as you may have added several years to my life), but it is much deserved. I have started to pass on your details to other smokers as well as support and praise for your treatment."

 "I came to you when my grandson was born to help me stop smoking. That was 8 month ago today and I haven't had even one... a million thanks"

"Just a quick note to say thank you... 6 months smoke free now since I came to see you...Can't tell you how grateful I am, and I've passed your number on to anyone who'll listen!"